Brooklyn and NYC · individuals and couples
Relational Trauma Therapy in Brooklyn and NYC
Some of what hurts us happens inside relationships, through neglect, rejection, or a lack of boundaries, and rarely in a single moment. I work psychodynamically and relationally with attachment wounds, childhood and intergenerational patterns, and the kind of harm that never had one obvious name. Two Brooklyn offices, plus online sessions across New York State. Free 15-minute consultation.
Trauma Is Not Only the Obvious Kind.
Everyone experiences trauma over a lifetime, sometimes in large, singular events, and often repeatedly in far less pronounced ways. A great deal of it happens inside relationships, in the way other people affect us, through neglect, abuse, rejection, or an absence of boundaries. It can be hard to name something as trauma when no single moment stands out.
What Happened Early Tends to Stay.
We are affected most by what happens when we are young, when we have fewer resources to take care of ourselves, and especially when those wounds happen inside a caregiving relationship. Those early adaptations were useful once. They often keep running long after the situation that required them has passed.
What it can look like
Big T and Little t Trauma
People sometimes divide trauma into big T and little t: the events most of us would recognize as traumatic, and the smaller, repeated experiences that are easier to dismiss. Both shape how you respond now. You do not need to rank what happened to you against someone else's life before bringing it into a room.
Some of what people come in with:
- A childhood where your feelings were managed, minimized, or not noticed
- Patterns in relationships that keep repeating, however different the people are
- Feeling extra attached, or braced for rejection, in ways that seem out of proportion
- Difficulty knowing what you want, separate from what was expected of you
- Family patterns that clearly did not start with you
- Symptoms that fit complex PTSD more closely than a single-event diagnosis
- A sense that something is off, without an event you can point to
If some of this feels familiar, a free 15-minute consultation is a low-pressure place to start.
Book a consultationThis often sits alongside other things rather than on its own. If it shows up around work and achievement, you may also want to read about therapy for burnout and career anxiety. If it runs through family expectation and identity, there is more on therapy for Asian Americans.
We are wounded in relationship. A great deal of the healing happens in relationship too.
How the work happens
The Relationship Itself Is Part of the Work
In relational trauma therapy, what happens between us is not a side effect of the work. It is some of the material. That does not mean your therapist becomes your best friend. It means the relationship should be safe enough that when something lands badly, you can say so.
If you notice yourself frustrated with me, or hurt, or rejected, or more attached than you expected to be, those are usually feelings you have elsewhere too. Therapy gets to be the place where you explore what they actually are, inside a container, with someone who is not going anywhere.
The work is psychodynamic as well as relational, so we look backward where it helps: at what you needed and did not get, the roles you were asked to play, and what you did to adapt. I have written more about relational therapy and about attachment styles if you want a fuller sense of the approach before we speak.
A common idea, worth examining
You Do Not Have to Be Healed First
There is a popular idea that you should sort yourself out before you are in a relationship. There is something in it. There is also no such thing as being finished, and a good deal of repair actually happens through being in healthier, more regulated, more emotionally attuned relationships, or through understanding yourself inside one.
That is especially true of attachment wounds. It is also why I see couples as well as individuals: what happens between two people is often exactly where the old pattern becomes visible, and workable.
Your therapist
Frances Jin is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) with an MSEd from Hunter College, practicing in Downtown Brooklyn and Greenpoint. She has had psychoanalytic supervision for three years and trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples through NYCEFT. About Frances.
The approach
How Psychodynamic Therapy for Trauma Works
We start where the pressure is, and we pay attention to patterns rather than only to incidents. Nothing has to be excavated on a schedule.
Early sessions are mostly about what is happening in your life at the moment, and what you want to be different. You decide what we go near, and when.
Over time we look at where the pattern was learned and what it was protecting. This is longer-term, trust-based work rather than a fixed number of sessions, and I would rather say that plainly than offer a protocol I do not practice.
Sessions are 45 minutes, typically weekly. I see individuals and couples.
Where we meet
Relational Trauma Therapist in Brooklyn and NYC
I see clients in person at two Brooklyn offices and online across New York State.
Downtown Brooklyn
Mondays and Tuesdays
26 Court Street, Brooklyn, NY 11242. Close to Borough Hall, Brooklyn Heights, and many neighborhoods throughout Brooklyn and Manhattan via the 2/3/4/5, A, C, R, F, and G lines.
Greenpoint
Wednesdays
861 Manhattan Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11222. Convenient for Greenpoint, Williamsburg, and Queens via the G and L lines, and through Court Square.
Online
All Weekdays
Anywhere in New York State.
I am licensed in New York only, and I am out of network, providing superbills for reimbursement. Fees are listed on the FAQ page.
Questions
Frequently Asked Questions About Relational Trauma
What is relational trauma?
Harm that happens inside a relationship rather than in a single identifiable event: neglect, rejection, unpredictability, or an absence of boundaries, usually repeated over time. It is most formative when it happens in childhood and inside a caregiving relationship, because that is when we have the fewest resources to protect ourselves.
What is the difference between big T and little t trauma?
Big T usually refers to the events most people would name as traumatic. Little t refers to smaller, repeated experiences that are easy to dismiss and still shape how you respond now. The distinction is useful for talking about it. It is not a threshold you have to clear to come to therapy.
Are you a trauma therapist?
I would not describe myself that way, and I would rather be straightforward about it. I am a psychodynamic and relational therapist, and trauma, particularly relational and attachment trauma, is part of what comes into the room. If you are looking for a specific trauma protocol such as EMDR, I am not the right person, and I am glad to point you elsewhere.
Can therapy help with complex PTSD?
Relational and psychodynamic work suits many people carrying what is often described as complex PTSD, because the difficulty tends to live in patterns and relationships rather than in one memory. In a consultation I will be honest about whether what you are describing is a good fit for this kind of work.
Do I need to talk about my childhood?
Not before you want to. We start with what is pressing now. Looking backward is useful when it explains something about the present, not as a requirement.
Can relational trauma be worked on in couples therapy?
Often, yes. Attachment wounds tend to become visible between two people, which makes couples work a real place to address them. I see both couples and individuals, and sometimes the same person in both settings at different times.
Do you offer online therapy across New York State?
Yes, for anyone located in New York State. Online sessions are available on all weekdays; Thursdays and Fridays are online only. I am licensed in New York only.
What happens in a free 15-minute consultation?
It is a short call to hear what is bringing you here and for you to get a sense of how I work. No preparation needed, and no obligation. If I am not the right fit, I will say so and point you somewhere better.
Next step
Ready to Get Started?
Schedule a free, 15-minute consultation to see what it would be like to work together.
Book a consultation